Dear Healthy Lifestyle

Dear Healthy Lifestyle,

I realize I haven't been around for a couple, ok maybe a few, weeks.  I'm sorry, kinda.  I'm gonna be honest, I felt like I was putting in the effort but I wasn't getting much in return.  It's a two way street, ya ass!

So I did it. I cheated on you. I fucked around on you with UNhealthy lifestyle and it felt damn good.  I skipped the gym for 2 weeks and caught up on my sleep, I ate relatively shitty more often than I wanted to (like a foot long sub in one sitting).  I drank…lots…and on weeknights.  Yeah, you drove me to drinking.  I may or may not have eaten cookie dough.  Go hard or go home, right?  Don't judge me.

Well, as much as I'm a little ashamed, I think I needed it.  Sometimes a break can be good right?  I think going forward I'll learn to appreciate you a lot more.  I missed so much about you!  I love the way you make me feel and the fact that you make me feel better about myself.  You make my pants fit better.  You reduce the likelihood of a muffin top situation by like 80%.  You increase my confidence exponentially.  We might need to have a talk about how you peer pressure me to go shopping…but let's talk about it while we go shopping, shall we?

I'll have you know I went to the gym this morning and wrecked my arms.  Serious case of spaghetti arms.  What can I say, I'm trying to look good for you.  Then I took this selfie, wearing your favorite shirt.  You're welcome.

I'm gonna go ahead and swallow my pride though, and ask if you'll take me back despite my cheating ways?  I promise I'll be good to you.  Whatcha think?  I'll be waiting by the phone for your call, or lezbehonest, you'll probably text me.

I love you and miss you.