Weekend Recap + Gangbang (it's not what you think)

Happy Monday!  I can only say that because I'm on my couch, in my housecoat, on this swampy Monday.

Pretty nice little weekend!  A laid back little HHH on Friday with the BFF, who happens to be super fucking badass.  Who runs half marathons two weekends in a row?  She does.  Give her a big congrats on her PR in this past weekend's Iron Girl half and wish her luck as she takes on another one next weekend!  See, badass, told ya.  I'm so proud of her!

In other news, let's see, I went for my first official "training" run in my new stupid loud running shoes.  Thankfully I'm no longer at the point where I think that I might die when I go running, I just run ridiculously slow.  So slow that the majority of the time I'm actually walking.  It's no surprise to me though, I've never been a runner and the good news is that I can't reeeeally get much worse.  Motivation: my soon-to-be sister in law and my brother are planning on running the 5k too.  Must.  Keep.  Up.  Anyway, I ran/jogged/walked 2 miles at a snails pace of 15:36.  Gotta start somewhere!  The good news is that my new shoes were awesome!  No weird rubbing and no pain in my archless little feet.  On tonight's agenda is a 3ish mile walk – should be a good test for the shoes.  I'll keep y'all posted!

So, several people have asked for my workout playlist.  I'll be honest, I have a ton of them.  I'll also be honest and say that I don't know how the fuck to export them from Spotify.  Also I just clicked in there and hit copy paste and boom…they pasted.  Mission accomplished.  Below is a little playlist I titled, "Gangbang."  Don't judge me.

Flo Rida – Whistle
Nicki Minaj – Starships - Explicit Version
Flo Rida – Wild Ones - feat. Sia
Pitbull – Back in Time - featured in "Men In Black 3"
Usher – Scream
David Guetta – Titanium - feat. Sia
Kanye West – Mercy
Gym Class Heroes – The Fighter - feat. Ryan Tedder
Lil Wayne – My Homies Still
Tyga – Faded
Drake – HYFR (Hell Ya Fucking Right)
Tyga – Rack City
Snoop Dogg – Young, Wild & Free - feat. Bruno Mars
Rihanna – Talk That Talk
B.o.B – So Good
Wale – Lotus Flower Bomb - feat. Miguel
Maroon 5 – Payphone
Kirko Bangz – Drank In My Cup
Ca$h Out – Cashin' Out
Calvin Harris – Let's Go - Radio Edit
DJ Khaled – Take It To The Head
Waka Flocka Flame – Get Low - feat. Nicki Minaj, Tyga & Flo Rida
J. Cole – Nobody's Perfect
Jennifer Lopez – Dance Again
DJ Felli Fel – Boomerang (feat. Akon, Pitbull & Jermaine Dupri)
Lucenzo – Throw Your Hands Up (Dancar Kuduro) - Radio Edit
OutKast – Hey Ya! - Radio Mix/Club Mix
OutKast – Ms. Jackson
TRU – Hoody Hooo
Macklemore & Ryan Lewis – Thrift Shop - feat. Wanz
Alicia Keys – Girl On Fire - Inferno Version
Ludacris – What's Your Fantasy
Ke$ha – C'Mon
Ke$ha – Die Young
Bone Thugs n Harmony – Tha Crossroads
2Pac – Changes - (Explicit)
2Pac – I Ain't Mad At Cha - (Explicit)
Ludacris – My Chick Bad Remix

I hope you're having a nice little Monday!  Any crucial songs I should add to my playlist?

WIW + Fuel not Food

Happy hump day (fingers crossed)!  So far so good on this nice little Wednesday!  I've been speeding up my morning routine a little bit this week and it's working in my favor.  Typically I get up and get to the gym around 5:40-5:45 and leave around 6:15-6:30, well they open the doors around 5:15 so I'm trying to get there closer to that.  I'm also trying not to aimlessly walk around my house naked or pantless in the mornings while I get ready.  It's really unnecessary and counterproductive.  So the past couple days, with the earlier gym and less pointless nudity I've gotten to work about half an hour earlier than normal.  Has my supervisor looked at me with, "Whoa what the fuck are you doing here?" eyes both mornings?  Yup!  Do I love it?  Yup!

Ohhhh Weigh in Wednesday, you silly bitch!  I should say MY silly bitch, because that's what I made it this week.  Down 1.7!  It's crazy.  I've been working hard though and watching my eating for the most part.  I can also count the drinks I had since last Wednesday on one hand (assuming said hand was born with an extra finger).  So that's bound to help!  I'm still in the Biggest Loser contest that started back in January and I'm under no illusion that I'll win, but it's kept me incredibly accountable.  I've lost 21.6 lbs since I started the contest on January 9th.  And I've lost 40ish (!!!!!) since I weighed myself last Fall and decided to do something about it.  I'm not sure if I'll keep weighing myself weekly once I'm done with the contest, we'll see where I end up.  It ends on May 22nd!

 

 

I'm not sure how much I have on this topic but I was thinking about it recently.  I think a lot about what's changed since I started all this and one of the most notable things has been my view on food.  Do NOT get me wrong, I fucking love it.  I eat it and I enjoy it when it's tasty enough to be enjoyed.  But I can also live without it for a minute, or realize that it doesn't always have to be an amazing meal.  I used to work with this guy that was a total foodie and we both talked about how much we loved food and thought about it (fat kid problems).  He used to tell me about this friend he had that just didn't care what he ate.  That he could eat the same thing every single day and be perfectly content.  He just saw food as fuel, and if it was delicious that was a bonus.

Well my fat ass used to wake up thinking about food, then I'd email the hubs and ask what he wanted for dinner before I even got to lunch time.  And when lunch rolled around I'd eat whatever the hell I wanted, a sub, a cheeseburger, whatever!  I craved it and I didn't mind that it made me feel like complete garbage afterward I ate it.  Well, I've realized I'm not like that anymore.  Of course, I love tasty food, who doesn't?  Just this morning I made dinner plans for BLT's and (skinny?) mac & cheese, doesn't that sound glorious?!  But I'm no longer at a point where I need it, or where my world revolves around it.  Sure I eat more than I should at times, but for the most part I've learned not to stuff myself so much that I FEEL gross, because I don't like feeling gross.

Never really thought I'd get to the "fuel not food" mentality, but it makes me appreciate a good meal that much more.  It makes me crave summer stuff, like fresh fruit and vegetables.  It makes me realize there's so much other stuff I can spend my time thinking about!

This picture and this post go together
like chocolate chip cookies and beer.

Am I looking forward to my rice cup, yogurt and almonds for lunch?  Fuck no.  But it's just food and it'll get me through the day.  Are you in the same boat?  Do you feel like you could ever get there?

Arch(haha)enemy!

So I skipped yesterday. Wasn't feelin it. I'll try today :)

Pretty laid back weekend, got a workout in, drank some Blue Moons with Bran and did some brunching with the rents (read: mimosas).

Last week I posted about this 5k that I'm dreading. I also mentioned the shoes I got (that I currently want to throat punch).  So I've been trying to break them in.  Up until now I've had a cute, bright pink pair of meshy Nike FreeRun's that offer absolutely no support for my fat/flat feet.  They've been great for the gym though and I'm happy with them there.  So I signed up for the 5k and realized these shoes weren't gonna cut it.  Went and bought the Brooks Ravenna 4's and a pair of insoles (because the knowledgeable employee dumbass at the shoe store said to).  Well, the first couple times I wore them I felt like I was on a cloud.  I did a little (very little) jogging on the treadmill and my usual workout at the gym.  I was golden.  Then yesterday morning I tried the treadmill again and my right arch, or lack there of, started to hurt like shit. 

So upon some recommendations I took the "aftermarket" insoles out and replaced the original Brooks insoles.  Then I proceeded to go on a 3.2 mile walk, no arch pain!  I was pretty thrilled!  Then I got home and realized how fucking badly my heels were hurting.  I guess taking the insoles out made my feet sit deeper in the shoes and had scraped my little achilles raw, yay $100 shoes!  So I wore the trusty support-less Nikes this morning and am planning on exchanging the Brooks bastards tomorrow after work.  We'll see what kinds of limitations they have on their "15 Day Test Run" deal.  Hopefully I can find another suitable shoe to try and hopefully said shoe doesn't roofie my feet and take advantage of them.

 

 

With that said, my 5k training is actually going pretty shitty.  I might try a jog in the support-less Nikes and see what happens.  At least that'd give me an excuse to buy another pair of ridiculously cute brightly colored shoes, which I've already informed the hubs that I need.  Along with some new workout clothes, and a new pair of sunglasses, and some new flip flops…and I want a deck on our house.  See what I did there?  He'll shit himself at the deck and the rest of the stuff sounds like chump change.  You're welcome.

Hope you're having a Happy Tuesday!  Oh and here's the outfit of the day.  Oh Loft, how I love you.

How's YOUR 5k training going?  Any tips for my terrible horrible no good very flat feet?

Oh snap! 5k!

So if you follow me on instagram you may or may not know that I registered for my first 5k!  I'm shitting myself so excited!  I promised Brandy that I would run my first 5k ever with her so I'm feeling good about following through with that.  Pretty sure she knew the only way I'd agree to it is if it had something to do with bright colors and getting em in the face.  So I signed up for the Run or Die Dye in DC in June.  Am I dreading it?  Totes.  Am I trying to rope other people in so we can dread it together?  You bet your ass.

 

I'm not, let me emphasize not a runner.  I played sports growing up and I was decent at soccer and basketball, but I haaaated running.  What's that term for the kid that just stands there and waits til someone passes them the ball?  Oh yeah, a fucking cherry picker, that's what I was.  I also wore sports goggles and had a fro, bonus!!  I was a lazy athlete, I didn't bust my ass, I just relied on what little skills I had to get by.  I quit basketball when I was in middle school (but I can still take Ben in a one-on-one game, come at me bro) and continued soccer through high school.  Most dreaded days of the season were the ones where we had to run a mile, ONE mile.  The whole team would finish, then there'd be the girl with asthma bringing up the read annnnd then there'd be me.  What?  A 19 minute mile isn't good?  Just kidding, I have no idea how long it took me, but I do know I didn't give a shit!

I've changed a bit since my cherry picking days.  I like to think I'm a little more of a go-getter these days.  So I'm gonna succeed at this 5k thing.  I haven't quite figured out how.  I have a standing date on Mondays for a walk/jog and I'm getting roped into (very willingly) a Saturday morning run with Bran (she's too cool to say no to).  Mind you, she's training for 2 half marathons like a little badass.  So I'll run for a mini-fraction of the time/distance she will, but still, doing that!  I'll keep y'all posted on my progress!

Oh, my shoes, I just got new shoes!  I got the Brooks Ravenna 4's.  I wanted more colorful ones and expressed to the man selling them to me that I wanted "cuter shoes" but he laughed at me.  I guess they're ok.  What they ARE is ridiculously comfortable so far.  I did my research and I ended up going to Finish Line because they have a 15 Day Test Run, that sounds perfect for me and my flat little feet.  So I can try em out and if they are a suckfest I can trade them back in for another pair.  This morning at the gym I did some speed walking (because I'm 90) on the treadmill for about 10 minutes and they seemed ok.  One of my flat platypus feet, the right one to be exact, hurt a bit around where I should have an arch but don't.  I'll keep an eye.  Otherwise, they were spectacularly comfy and I'm looking forward to wearing them again.

5k training starts……………………now motherfuckers!  Wanna learn how to not suck at running do one with me?

Friday's so close I can taste it.  It tastes liiiiike, Blue Moon.

WIW + Positivity

A little exhausted on this happy little hump day.  The past two days of two a days sorta sucked the life out of me, but it's all good stuff so I can't complain.  I shockingly, despite the amount of wine consumption in the last week, I made the scale my bitch this week.  Down 1.1lbs!  Wanna know a secret?  Whenever I say a # of lbs I'm always afraid I'm gonna do the math wrong and people are gonna think I'm an idiot, self conscious much?  Ok, back to business.  So I'm realizing that my weekly routine is golden.  I'm a good little eater, I don't skip workouts, I (mostly) refrain from drinking anything but water and I feel good.  The weekends though, with this nice ass warm weather, are crushing me.  Ask me if I wanna day drink with you on a Saturday and I'll never ever say no, unless you're creepy, then you bet your ass I'll come up with an excuse.  Speaking of crushing, I want an orange crush.  Never had one?  You're missing the fuck out.

 

 

So I've come to the harsh realization that I probably need to buy a few new pairs of pants.  I bought this cute little green cardigan jacket thing the other week and I'm wearing it today but it's paired with cords.  Cords that are too big and I have to pull up to the ol' bellybutton so I don't have the most serious case of shit pants ever.  Don't tell the hubs (he's reading this, fuck) but I'm probably gonna need to go swipe some new pantalones asap.  Whatever, he doesn't like it when it looks like I shit my pants either so it's win/win.  Maybe Target will have some clearance pants?

 

Switching gears, a lot, I wanted to talk about something today that's really had an impact on me over the years.  These days I'm really starting to realize the effect that surrounding myself with positivity has on me.  Every relationship, whether it's a family member, significant other or a friend, has the ability to influence you in a positive way or a negative way.  When I was unhappy with myself I was (without knowing at the time) one of those people that believed misery needed company.  I'm miserable and I want you to be miserable too.  I don't think I brought joy to too many people's lives and nothing and no one really brought joy to mine.  You get out what you put in.

I'm about 100% happier these days and I'm realizing a lot about that whole dynamic.  I'm realizing who the people are in my life that I consider to be uplifting and positive.  The ones I want to share things with, good and bad, the ones that are there for me, the ones that I can be MYSELF with.  They're amazing people, they're my family that supports me no matter what, they're my friends that can make me laugh about something that I'm being an idiot about and remind me how lucky I am, they're my awesome husband that puts up with soooo much of my shit and loves me anyway.  But these are the people, that in return, I'll do anything and everything for.  I'll put my best foot forward for them because I know they'll do the same, probably with a smile on their face.

 

The people that don't fall into this category are the tough ones.  When you realize that someone isn't contributing to your life in a positive way, but doing the opposite instead.  The kind of person that with one little comment can make you feel like the biggest piece of shit on earth.  Got one?  Yep, me too.  I end up running into the dilemma that I don't know how to get them out.  But, for the first time in umm forever, I'm realizing that I can make that choice.  I can decide if I want that person in my life, or not.  Chances are it's a no.  Well, I used to let people like this rule my world and walk all over me.  Why?  Because I thought I wasn't worth it.  Well guess what motherfuckers, I am.  So take your negativity elsewhere, because I have plenty of people in my life that support me, make me happy and love me unconditionally.

Surround yourself with positivity and you'll notice a world of difference, I know I have.

I can finally differentiate those two people.  The ones that are worth the effort and the ones that aren't.  Can you?

Happy Wednesday!

Lots of Wine + Q&A

What's one thing my Friday, Saturday and Sunday have in common?  Wine, bitch.  Friday's usual HHH was cancelled, resulting in a delicious double date steak dinner at Chelsea & Brett's.  Should I have drank a bottle of wine and some Fireball?  Probably not.  Did I feel like death the next day, yup!  Was it worth it?  Definitely!  We had an awesome time.

Saturday consisted of a bachelorette party for my dear friend Kristin.  She must have known I love daydrinking.  We did a daytime wine tasting complete with a shuttle service.  Good news though, the feeling of death went away when I drank more wine!  Hooray!  I met a surprising amount of nice people and had an awesome day.  Congrats Kristin <3

  
Sunday I attempted to recover but shared a bottle of wine at dinner.  Looks like I'll need to stop drinking for a little while…no HHH again this week, what on earth do I have to look forward to?!?!

Oh and in case you asked a question via instagram or the blog, my answers are below!  Let me know if you have any others or would like me to elaborate on anything.

Is clothing REALLY optional?

It is in my house, but we don't have kids that we would scar for life while prancing around naked.  I mean, we don't prance.  Our poor neighbors. Short answer: Always.

So your parents have had access to your blog for a while now…have they said anything about it? Do you find yourself holding back at all now that you know they read it? Just curious because no one in my real life knows about my blog and I don't know if I would ever tell them… 
They're proud of me (or so they say) and aren't offended by my sailor mouth.  I got it from someone right guys?  I do hold back a little bit, not so much with the cursing but with the sex stuff, not so awesome when your dad reads about how it's not the size of the boa…oh wait, it is, it is the size of the boat.  I noticed when I started the blog that I was being myself and that maybe I was being a different version of myself in real life…I let the two collide and it's been sort of awesome. 

What hair product do you use for your curls? 
What hair product don't I use for my curls.  Check this post out. 

Do you like your hubby better with a beard or no beard? 
Well, I like him the same either way.  A little background on the beard.  I bet him 1,000 American doll hairs that he couldn't grow a "real man beard" by the time he was 30.  Well he turned 29 last September and he decided to grow a yeard.  Yes, yeard.  Year + beard = yeard.  I don't mind the beard but the mustache looks like catfish whiskers and kinda creeps me out.  Sometimes it gets in my mouth if I try to give him a kiss.  And that shit is just disgusting.  Also, his beard smelled like bacon for a while, I think it finally stopped.  Oh yeah, and he also shaved it off this weekend!!!! I win! 

RIP yeard.

You are so fucking fabulous. How DO you do it?

I read a lot of instruction manuals.

What inspires you I get to the gym when you're just too damn tired?! What's in your weekly healthy dinner rotation??

By now it's just a routine but when I was struggling really bad there were times I just didn't wanna. A while back I wrote about motivation and since then I think what's motivating me most is the changes I'm seeing. Dinner-wise...we eat a lot of chicken (usually grilled) and a lot of venison (he hunts and I've figured out some tasty recipes). I try to avoid carbs and usually stick to a lean meat and a veggie. I'd love to share a recipe but I don't have a ton of time to cook these days. 

How often do you drink coffee? And what kind do you drink? Did you give up soda when you started your journey?

I typically drink 1 cup when I get to work in the morning. I add milk and 1 splenda. When I go to Starbucks (it happens) I get a double tall vanilla latte. I didn't drink much soda before, but yes I gave it up. I don't miss it one bit!
 

What do you find to be the hardest part of your past and current weight loss journey?

The hardest part when I started was sticking to my exercise routine! Once I got that nailed down I started seeing results. Now the hardest part (we're being honest, right?) is not drinking too often! Warm weather makes me want to drink. Oops. Then once I drink I don't make the healthiest meal decisions. Then I drink some more. 

What is your favorite cheat meal?
A little cheeseburger from Five Guys. Ok ok, bacon cheeseburger. So bad but so good. 

What was the hardest thing about being a newlywed?
Realizing that we were a team no matter what. Oh and giving each other the benefit of the doubt, that was hard as shit.

Who is the coolest person you've met on your blog journey thus far?

In real life? Without question, Chelsea. You may know her as "the blind date." It's been weird (in a good way) how easily she's fit into my life and how well she gets along with those already in it.

Not in real life? Mama Laughlin & Nancy Clue!

Do you count calories? If so, how many do you have a day? How many calories do you burn a day working out?
I used to. I was doing My Fitness Pal for a little while. I was in the 1,200-1,400 range. I no longer record what I eat but I'm obviously still conscious of it, just not as exact. I have no idea how many calories I burn a day working out because I don't have a heart rate monitor. Do you think the hubs'll read this and get the hint that I want one? 

What's ur workout playlist !?! I need some kickass songs! 
Here's a sampling of my "Gangbang" playlist – email me if you want more :)
"What's Your Fantasy" Ludacris
"Dance Ass Remix" Nicki Minaj + Big Sean
"C'mon Let Me Ride" Skylar Gray
"Gasolina" Reggaeton
"The Show Goes On" Lupe Fiasco
"Hoody Hoo" Tru
"Dirty Picture" Taio Cruz
"Don't Stop the Party" Pitbull 

What does the bearded hubs think of this blogging business?

I asked him..."I think it's great you've met all these nice people but can I say something about my disapproval for the outrageous amount of time you spend on your phone? I'm a subscriber though, you're funny and sorta cute."

Can we hang out? I'll bring drinks.

Who can say no to that?! Sure! What are we drinking?

For weekly weigh in do you really only weigh yourself once a week or do you still weigh daily to see progress?
I'd be lying if I said I only weighed myself on Wednesday mornings. I feel like daily weigh-ins keep me motivated to make good choices! Especially if the #s aren't moving in the right direction. To each their own though. 

I'm late to the game but curious how you know Mama Laughlin?Oh I stalked the fuck out of her online (we emailed for a while) til she became concerned for my well being after some freak hurricane and gave me her phone number.  We've never met in real life. 

What's in the Starbucks cup?

Wouldn't you like to know… 

What is your ideal goal?

I don't think I have a number really.  Maybe somewhere arouuuund 135?  I'm basing it a LOT more on how I feel, but I wouldn't mind fitting comfortably into a size 4. 

What exactly is the "artsy" thing you do?

I'm a graphic designer.

Thanks for reading and Happy Monday!

I'm Busy. Q&A?

So I'm a little busy but wanted to get in a quickie (twss). A Q&A post was suggested. I posted on instagram and got some questions but figured I'd open it up to people who may not follow me on the ol' IG!

Ask away! Keep it clean, just kidding, that's boring.

 

WIW + I'm a Grown-up

It's weigh in Wednesday and I'm pretty damn excited about this one.  I've been working my ass off pretty hard at the gym (and snuck in on Saturday) and I'm back to two-a-day Tuesdays!  I had missed the past couple weeks, for hair cuts, blind dates, you know.  Last night's body pump class made me feel like a huge p-u-s-s-y and Brandy kicked my ass and loaded wayyyy more weight on.  It's not a pissing contest, but I'm coming for you bitch.  I was also pretty good about my weekday eating.  I emphasize weekday because I suck pretty bad at weekend eating, as in I do a lot of it and not very carefully.  So I'm happy to report that I'm down dos (that's spanish for two, I'm bilingual) and I'm pretty pumped!!

Toes are so sausagey.

I'd like to say that my goal for next week is to hit 145, but it's not.  I'm starting to get a loss less concerned with that number on the scale and a lot more concerned with how I feel.  There are problem areas I'm trying to focus on so my goals are based a little more on those.  For example, I'd like to fill the ass of my pants a little more, I don't have much of an ass.  Not many people know this, untilllllll now.  I drink a bunch of water at work during the day so I pee, A LOT.  Every time I pee, I use the big stall because there's no space to exercise in the little stall.  So here's my secret, I do 10 squats every time I pee.  By the end of the work day I've usually done 70 or 80 squats and my ass hurts, so I'll call that a win.  Don't lie, you're thinking about doing it too.  Careful though, if you do it with pants on you can sometimes create a mean case of sag ass by stretching out the ass.  Personally I go pantless, I know I know, you're surprised.  Happy squatting!

Typical day. Yep that's a vneck tshirt.

Today's grown-up outfit.

So in my field (I'm artsy fartsy), I've gotten to be my age and not really had to deal with looking allll that professional.  I mean, y'all have seen my outfits, and I get away with a lot of odd stuff for working in a "corporate" environment.  Well, we have some dinner tonight and a meeting tomorrow and when I said, "Can we wear jeans to dinner?" my boss thought I was joking and everyone chuckled.  Well guess what, I was fucking serious.  I went shopping this weekend and got a couple things to make me look like less of a hippie and more of a corporate 20 something.  Today, I'd venture to say that I kind of look like a grown-up!  I didn't opt for heels but wedges are close, right?  And the pants I'm wearing actually fit me.  Nevermind the fact that all of my female coworkers are wearing dresses, womp womp.  Oh well.  Joke's on them when I take my cardigan off later and start selling tickets to the gun show.

Flexbreak. I know I know, I'm a douche.

I'm gonna start dressing more like a grown-up.  You heard it here first.  As soon as I find a money tree, harvest its leaves and go on a shopping spree.  Maybe this Spring, we'll see I guess.  I just don't wanna look all old.  When did you start dressing like a grown-up?

Happy hump day!  My feet hurt.

Belated Weekend Recap + Wanna be Twinsies?

Ok ok so we're a little late on a weekend recap.  Sorry, but real life got in the way for a minute and I had to get through a shitty Monday.  Let's cross our fingers that Tuesday sucks less!

This weekend was pretty excellent!  Friday's HHH was pretty epic, but what do you expect's gonna happen when you put a bunch of nice and hilarious people together?  Everyone got along, we had tons of tasty food and did some damage on some tasty drinks.  All in all, it was perfect.  I love the fact that I'm surrounded by people that give others the benefit of the doubt and a chance to get along.  The boys came too, mostly made fun of the girls, but I think they had a good time!

The girls!

The boys! Don't they look thrilled?!

I blame Chelsea for bringing peanut butter pie. And yes, Fridays are my cheat day.

The rest of the weekend was pretty laid back, just the way I like it.  A couple beers here and there, a little gym time, some sunshine (it's finally less stupid freezing here).  Oh and there was some shopping and some grilling.  Pretty much anything you can think of to make a weekend awesome.  Try not to be jealous, ok well maybe a little jealous because my friends are really fun.

You tryin to be twins?  Well, Vanessa over at Ruffles with Love is making it cheaper for us to be twinsies!  She's letting me give my awesome readers 15% off their order.  Head over and pickup one (or all, they're all awesome) of these gems.  They're comfortable, flattering and they make your guns look freakin phenomenal.  Oh yeah and they also get lots of laughs and attention.  Tonight's body pump instructor always calls me out when I wear the "fat crying" tank.  Let's seeeeee what she says when I show up in some supercalafragilisticexpealidopeshit tonight.  So go check out some tanks and get one and then send me a selfie of you wearing it because you know it's gonna look good.

Enter HHH15 at checkout to get 15% off!

Last but not least…I entered my first 5k this weekend.  I'm shitting myself super excited!  I do have to get some new running shoes though and my feet are flat as fuck.  I looked around and found the Brooks Trance 11's (they're last year's and like $40 cheaper) but those motherfuckers are still $100.  Any fellow flat footers out there have any running shoe advice?  Help!

Happy Tuesday!!

Happy Friday + Epic HHH

So I don't typically put a post up on Fridays but I woke up with a prrrretty big shit eating grin on my face today!  It's been a good week, I didn't fuck up at work while the boss was out (maybe I'm speaking too soon), I'm seeing lots of progress, I'm surrounded by some positive and amazing people and tonight is HHH.

See, top right, shit eating.

Tonight's HHH is gonna be epic.  And by epic I mean I'm not sure my pants will be on for the duration of it.  Sorry in advance, guests.

Seeing as how it's opening day for the Orioles and I love don't really give a shit about baseball, here's the starting lineup.  The guest of honor, coming in from out of town, she was Ben's friend from work initially until I stole her, she's staying with us all weekend and I couldn't be happier, meet Angela!  Next is a friend that's near and dear to my heart and I don't see quite as often as I'd like because she's too busy being amazingly awesome for everyone else in her life, but tonight she's making the trek up to the boonies, meet Suz!  Rolling over from down the street with her drinking shoes tied tight and a bunch of stuff to share including her awesome sense of humor, the standard and always excellent BFF, Brandy!  Making her 2nd HHH appearance (no pressure) and bringing too much stuff in the hopes that she gets invited over again, including her adorable husband Brett, meet Chelsea!  And last but certainly not least is my favorite guest/roommate, who I know for a fact is currently wearing crotchless underpants (remind me to throw those away), is the sexiest man I know, the one, the only, Ben (aka my husband I don't know if I've ever used his name here before)!

Mom's famous bean dip. Seriously it's amazing.

Just add vodka! They should put that on the label.

See what I mean about epic.  There's no way tonight won't be a blast!  There's also no way I won't be hungover tomorrow, which reminds me, I need to go get some water.

Is it 5 yet?

What are youuuuuu doing this weekend?

Skinny vs Healthy

Throwing it back to my high school years today.  Oh, the Tara from high school, she sucked.  I spent so many of my years trying to fit in with the "in" crowd, get boys to like me and "be cool."  Looking back it was such a fucking waste of time and I was really pretty miserable.

I was at the parents' house the other day and looked around for some old pictures.  I came across these few and couldn't help but laugh my ass off.  Ok first off, who the fuck gets pink eye in both eyes, wears a boys shirt and lets their hair grow into a damn pyramid head…this girl.  Meet Tara at age (probably) 14/15, you can laugh, I did.

Seriously, both eyes, what the fuck?

Ok, I don't do this super often but I'm gonna get serious for minute.  My idea of looking "good" and looking "skinny" back then was so skewed.  I grew up being told I was fat by my dear brother who I love very much and I believed it for pretty much ever.  I saw this picture the other day and was so grossed out and couldn't believe that I thought I was FAT!  I look starved and bony and unhealthy, and I remember distinctly that the prom dress was a size 2.  Since then, my mom's told me that she thought I had some kind of eating disorder, how sad is that?!

Not a good look.

I honestly can't remember a time where I felt good about my body and felt content with the way I looked, until now (almost).  A friend sent me an old picture and said she wanted to "look like that again" and I don't have a Tara that I want to look like again.  It's a bit upsetting to me to be my age and feel like I've never been happy and confident with my body.  I think I'm finally getting there.  Yeah, my stomach is flabby (and yeah that motherfucker still jiggles when I brush my teeth).  Yeah my legs have extra fat on them.  Yeah my arms hang low and they wobble to and fro, a little.  But I'm doing something about it, I'm working hard to get to the HEALTHY place I want to be, not the skinny place.  I don't want to be that girl that people look at and say, "She needs to eat a cheeseburger!"  I want to be the girl that eats a cheeseburger every once in a while and doesn't feel guilty because she works hard and deserves a delicious meat slab (twss) covered in cheese.

I still have a hard time not putting myself down because I've been doing it for so long that it almost feels necessary.  If you catch me talking shit to myself can you do me a favor and reel me in?  Thanks.

Do you feel like your idea of "skinny" or your idea of a healthy body has changed