...2013...

As I sit on my couch and fight the urge to change into my red union suit, I'm smiling to myself thinking about this past year.  I have so much and so many to be grateful for, I don't think about that enough.  I have so much to look back on fondly.  I learned so much about others and about myself.  Sure, I had some fuck ups along the way, who doesn't?  But overall, I can honestly say that 2013 is one of the years I've changed the most.

For starters, I decided to do something, I set my mind (and my body) to it and I followed through.  I went from living an unhealthy, lazy, downhill lifestyle to living the kind of life I'm proud of.  I stopped giving as much of a shit what other people thought of me, because guess what, it doesn't matter.  I set goals, I met goals.  I made a conscious decision to be the best version of myself I thought I could be.  I put my best foot forward.  I realized that I should never say I can't do something.

I made new friends, wonderful ones!  Ones that I traveled far to meet or found in my own backyard and lots that I hope to have in my life for a long long time.  I started to really believe that everyone gets brought into your life for a reason.  I try to look for that reason in everyone I meet.  Some are meant to teach you to laugh til you cry, some to love, some are meant to teach you to, "Not take things so fucking seriously!"  Some are meant to pass on what they've already learned, some are meant to teach you forgiveness or patience.  Some are meant to be that one stable thing when everything else seems to be crumbling around you.  All of which continue to teach me how to be a better person.

I gained confidence.  Something I may not have had very much of in years past.  Yeah ok, so it's not always 100%…ok fine, rarely, unless I'm drinking then that shit skyrockets.  But I learned that if I'm not confident in myself that not very many other people can do that for me.  I could try, but, "Hey mom, can you be confident for me?" probably won't do shit, no matter how adorable she is and how much she loves to help me.  I've learned that the phrase, "Fake it til you make it." applies to most everything in life.  I like to think I'm doing a little less fakin' and a little more makin' these days.

I've learned to worry less.  Yes, worry less!  I can't control everything, apparently I used to think I could and would get my panties all in a bunch when things didn't go my way.  That's not good for anyone though.  Where was I?  Oh yeah, less worrying, living in the moment.  Can't say it's ever been a strength of mine, I used to worry like hell even when I was a little kid!  But asking myself, "Can I actually control this?" and being able to say no and let go has been pretty damn amazing.  Can I control if someone's going to like me or show up on time or call me back or if everything will go as planned?  No, but I can do my part and sit back and have a drink and hope the rest comes together.

I can't wait to see what this next year brings.  New challenges, new lessons, new everythings.

Here are some of my favorite things from 2013 (in no particular order)

Derailed

You ever feel like your train of thought's been derailed?  Yeah that's right, I just quoted Travie McCoy.  And yeah, I feel like my train of thought's been derailed.  Lately I feel like there are a lot of moving parts in my life and I need to pick and choose which ones I put my time and effort into.  Sadly, this hasn't been one of those things.  Also, sadly, I haven't really been all that committed to the gym or to planning my meals and eating healthily.  I guess, basically, it's safe to say that I don't really have my shit together at the moment.

What have I been doing?  I've been working on being less stressed and feeling like I always have something that needs to get done.  I've been making an effort to be more present with the ones that matter, my husband for example.  I've been trying my best to remember how much I have to be grateful for and not worry so much about what's missing.

What's next?  Well, my sub par gym attendance is making me feel a little squishy, which I'm not all that down with.  So that needs to change.  I'm also getting pretty jelly of everyone's progress pictures and flexbreaks.  So I might be taking a break, but I know good and well what I want.  And in case you don't know me all that well…I always get what I want (I mean that in the least psychotic way possible).

I'll be back in a minute.  With bells on.

Friendsgiving

So this weekend we hosted our First Annual Friendsgiving!  It wasn't nearly as nerve wracking as expected because I happen to have excellent friends (some were missed!) that brought everything that makes a traditional Thanksgiving meal.  Ben was in charge of the turkey, which he deep fried, and it turned out excellent!  I was in charge of the stuffing, for which I used a ridiculously good recipe that mom's been using for years.  I made it into delicious balls (you can chuckle, it's ok).  Why balls?  Because you end up with way more crunchy stuffing and that's the best part!  Cue pictures…

Not much time for writing today, nor do I have a ton to say other than the fact that it's super fucking cold!  Happy Thanksgiving week!  Wanna eat a shitload and then go into a tryptophan coma?  Then sweat some early this week so you can unbutton your pants at the dinner table with a little less guilt!  That's my plan, at least!

What's your plan to eat more mindfully on this food baby inducing holiday?

Brunches and Bunches (of fun)

Oh this weekend.  Shit was pretty non-stop, but I didn't hate it.  That's one thing I love about exercising regularly, my energy levels are typically through the roof, at least in the mornings!  Friday night the hubs and I rented The Heat and had spaghetti and meatballs (his request, and those meatballs turned out freakin delicious) and drank chugged some wine.  What?  We were thirsty!  At least we shared it, going solo on a bottle of wine makes me feel like a hundred dollars the next morning.  Sharing is caring, and I'm sure that's what he was doing when he drank half, soaking up my hangover.  I love that man.

Saturday morning he hunted and I (GASP) went to the gym!  I haven't worked out on a weekend in a long time, but wow I missed it!  It's so nice not to be in a rush, yeah it's a little more crowded than my usual 5am weekday sessions, but it's some solid people watching and I broke a damn good sweat.  I came home and we cooked breakfast together, he had corned beef hash (I think it smells like cat food) and I did some experimenting.  I went for shredded sweet potatoes, turkey sausage and a runny egg.  It was pretty damn good and I had leftovers that I ate for breakfast this morning.  Not too shabby!  The rest of the day was spent grocery shopping (for brunch the next day) and having dinner and playing cards at a friend's house down the street.  I prepped a super healthy tasty and easy french toast casserole and let that bitch soak overnight.  I'm not much of a baker, so I was down with the level of measuring required.  I skipped the raisins/crans and I used whole milk, not half and half as suggested…my conscience was like, "No Tara, don't do it, no matter how delicious it sounds!"

The next morning we got up, did a sweet miracle clean (you know what I'm talking about) while trying to get rid of our hangovers.  Then I started cooking my little ass off.  The hardest thing for me is to get everything to come together at the same time (twss).  I'll proudly say I didn't fail at that this time around and my mom enjoyed her bday brunch (as well as several mimosas).  She also called me out for throwing her under the bus and saying I inherited her sailor mouth and claimed that she only says, "Coño (for you spanish speakers), fuck and shit!  The rest you got from your dad!" she argued.  Ok mom.  Fuck it.  Let's call it an even split.  Also, I fucking love you and I wasn't bullshitting when I said you're my best friend (she called me out on that too).

Finally, my weekend ended with the brilliant decision to attend a concert on a Sunday night.  My friend Melissa is slightly infatuated with David Nail and now I know why.  We met up, had dinner and a couple drinks, then went and watched that sexy man sing some songs while wearing some super snug pants that aren't accurately represented in the pictures I will gladly post below.  Yeah, I got home at like midnight.  Yeah, I was exhausted this morning when I got up.  But it was way worth it for some quality time and loads of laughs with a good friend and that beats sleep any day of the week!

I totally failed on my meal prepping for the week because I was too busy having fun, but whipped together some turkey sausage and an egg for lunch today and paired it with some leftover fruit salad from brunch.  Fake it til you make it, right?  And tonight after work, I'll make my lunches for the rest of the week.  Please give me shit if I don't, k thanks.

Happy Monday!  What's gonna help make your week a healthy one?

Little Things

So I've been working my ass off at the gym this week.  I'm feeling pretty good, but I could be doing better.  My diet isn't as great as it could be, I'm not planning as much as I could, but that shit's hard.  Some days I feel like I barely remember to put pants on before I leave the house in the morning, much less pack a healthy and well thought out lunch.

Today was the dreaded Weigh in Wednesday and I gained back the .7 lbs I lost last week.  Womp womp.  Not an awesome feeling, but it'll make me work harder for next week.

Also, no one likes a Debbie Downer, unless you're one of those misery loves company types (I'm not a fan of people like that).  So here's some GOOD stuff.  Today I did Day 3 of my current workout and I upped my weight in EVERY single exercise!!

•  Barbell squats: went from 40 to 60 lbs.
•  Reverse Step Ups: went from 30 to 40 lbs.
•  DB Sumo Squat: went from 30 to 40 lbs.
•  Prone Leg Curl: went from 75 to 90 lbs.
•  Leg Lifts: went from 105 to 120 lbs.

So I'm gonna account for that .7 I gained back being the extra muscles I'm making by lifting heavy things.  That's gotta be it right?  Right?!?!  Either way, I won't be walking right tomorrow.

Find some positivity in what you'd typically consider to be a failure.  You'll feel a hell of a lot better about yourself.  And guess what, you're still trying.

And my success is gonna be fucking delicious.

I'm also having a damn good hair day today, so there's that.  It's the little things.  What are yours?

By the way, word on the street is it's World Kindness Day.  Be kind to someone!  Dare you to make that someone be a stranger.  Bonus points ;)  And if you feel so inclined, post it here.