I choose…

Before today...

I hadn't been to the gym in weeks.

I had a shitty attitude about life.

I started eating poorly again.

I became that lazy girl on the couch.

I gained back some of the weight I worked so very hard to lose.

I let stress take over my life.

I lost hope when it came to the things that needed it the most.

I focused on the bad instead of the good.

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed most days.
I distanced myself from some of the most important people in my life.

I wouldn't even call it a funk.  It was more than a funk.  It was slipping back into the old Tara.  The one that let life get the best of her and didn't see the bright side.  The one I can't blame people for not wanting to be around.  The one I don't want to be again.  So that's the bad news.

The good news is, I noticed and I'm doing something about it.  It's too easy to sit back and say, "I'll start tomorrow."  So I started today.  I got back to the gym, I thought positive thoughts, I sweated, I'm thankful for what I have.  I tell the ones that matter that they do, I say fuck you to stress and I see the bright side, I choose to be happy and to make the most of what I'm given.  And I do my best to put things into perspective, because every once in a while things happen that will force you to do so.

I had a laid back weekend, I didn't drink and I finished the antibiotics that knocked out the deathly cold I had for a little over 2 weeks.  I relaxed, I cooked, I cleaned (ok Ben cleaned, but still) and I caught up on some sleep! (Email me if you want the recipe for the dinner pictured below and I'll make one up to share with you! I suck at recipes.)

Our Sunday was devoted to food, not so much in the fat girl, "What's my next meal?" kinda way, but over breakfast Ben and I planned out some meal ideas for the week.  We're into saving money, who isn't?  So most of what we eat this week will be free venison since Ben shot another deer.  After breakfast we went to the grocery store and got what we needed to start cooking.  We took a break to shoot some guns and enjoy the weather then came back home for an afternoon of grinding (meat, with a meat grinder, get your mind outta the gutter), chopping, browning, sautéing and packing.

We ended the night with some relaxing and catching up with some of our shows.  I went to sleep feeling ready for the week ahead.  Got up today with some pep in my step that quickly faded during my workout at the gym.  But I sweated, lots.  And I guarantee that I'll have a serious case of spaghetti arms tomorrow morning and I can't wait.  Spaghetti arms, oh how I've missed you.

Are you choosing to be happy?  I've been told that's pretty damn important.