Monday + Taming the Beast

Heyo!  Another weekend in the books.  Another HHH in the books.  Umm by the way I'm finding it pretty damn awesome that a few ladies have mentioned that they've started their own HHH's with their friends.  That makes me happy.

Proof that I don't drink alone at HHH!

It snowed this morning, happy fucking spring!  I didn't make it to the gym but spent some quality time with Jillian in the comfort of my own home.  I'm thinking I might skip hot yoga and just destroy the gym tonight after work, we'll see!  In other news, I managed not to die on Sunday while drinking bottomless mimosas, I call that a win.  Also, the hubs wanted to go on a drive to check out some river spots for canoeing/fishing this Summer, sooo we did.  Lucky for him I was drunk in an amazing mood and was beyond cooperative.  I thought it a good idea to take off my shoes, roll up my minty, once clean, pants and play on the river bank.  Yes, the water was freezing.  Yes, I looked like a moron.  Yes, it was an awesome day.  May have found some canoeing and fishing buddies too, bonus!!

As promised to you lovely instagrammers that comment on my hard to tame curls – I'll be walking you through a little hair styling action.  Don't get too excited, I use cheap hair products, I didn't own a hair dryer until last year and I still don't own a brush.  I'll most likely use incorrect terminology for the products/methods blah blah that I'll be mentioning, so good luck.  I did however take a lot of pictures!  If you don't like selfies, stop now, I warned you.  Also, it's a long one (twss).

Annnnd here we go.  So, when I was younger I looked like a boy had short hair, mostly because I was a huge fucking tomboy didn't know what to do with it otherwise.  Since those incredibly awkward days I've grown to like my hair and more or less learned to deal with it, haha, that makes it sound like a disease.  I don't hate it – I actually kind of love it.  My biggest battle over the years has been finding products that don't get discontinued and aren't too expensive.

The current arsenal.

A lot of what I do takes place in the shower (twss).  You all know how to shampoo and condition your hair, so do that (I shampoo every other time).  I leave the conditioner in for a while, my hair loves it.  This typically results in what the hubs calls, "Hollywood showers."  With the conditioner still in, run a wide toothed comb through it (or use your fingers, whatev).  This next part sucks but is super worth it.  Turn off ALL your hot water and let the water get crazy ice cold, if you're not an idiot you'll move your body out from under that stream and just dunk your head into it.  It's still fucking cold and sometimes I get a brain freeze from it, but it helps separate my curls so I don't look like some kinda hippie with dirty ass dreads.  So rinse, wring the water out as much as you can (you're still showering at this point) and flip your head upside down and give it a shake.  Then take that third thing in the picture, it's like smoothing cream or something like that, or whatever you can find that's similar.  Flip your head back over and let your crazy hair make its own part, then take a squirt of the smoothing cream and distribute it around kinda loosely, avoiding your roots for the most part.  Go back upside down and use another squirt of smoothing cream to make sure you get all the way to the tips of the curls.  Now wrap that damp mane in a turbie twist, yep the infomercial kind.  Will you look like a douche?  Yup.  Did I skip taking a picture of me in the damn thing?  Yup.  Leave it up in the towel for 15-20 minutes (or 2, whatever you have time for).  Take it out of the towel, shake upside down and you'll probably look like a wet dog…see below.

Told ya, wet dog. My head looks enormous.

Now spray the shit out of it with the heat protector spray and some kind of spray gel.  Why spray gel?  Because the less you touch your hair between now and when it's dry the better it'll look.  I've got a no touch policy.  Use a hair dryer with a diffuser.  No diffuser = a lotta fuckin frizz.  Frizz is the enemy.

The bigger the better (twss).

Now turn your head upside down and start blowin (get your mind out of the gutter).  I usually put it on low so it's not too windy.  Wind is also the enemy.  Wind + curls = frizz.  Now don't get all bouncy with the drying.  Pick a chunk (I usually break mine into 4) and just let the dryer push the curls up toward your head and sit there for a few minutes.  Then move to the next chunk.  Keep repeating until your hair is relatively dry.

It'll be a bit crunchy, it's cool – we'll fix it.  Flip your head back over and don't be alarmed, it's gonna look ridiculous.

A bit ridiculous looking.

Now let it sit there for a minute, don't run your fingers through it or anything too drastic.  Flip it back upside down and scrunch it, lift up your roots a bit with your fingers, basically just try to make it uncrunchy without making it frizzy.

Ta-da!

I don't know why I took a closeup.

Any questions?  I tried to be pretty thorough.  Sorry if you have straight hair and didn't give a fuck about this post.  But hey, the good news is you still have time to go over and enter in the CIS giveaway for a brand new housecoat (sweats and tee) that I promise you'll love.  And you can still use the code GI to get 25% off at checkout when you shop at CIS Clothing.  I'll announce the winner winner chicken dinner on Thursday, good luck to ya!

Hope your Monday's as awesome as it can be for being a Monday!