F it Friday + Ceviche

Happy Fucking Friday!  I don't know about your week, but mine has felt like a long one (twss).  It's gonna be a good day – I was told to work from home due to some construction in the office sooo I'm currently sitting on my couch and I'll leave it up to you to guess if I'm wearing pants or not.  After a stressful week I'm feeling like a kid on Christmas morning that just got a puppy.  I also had extra espresso in my coffee because that's how I roll. I hate it when people say/type expresso. There's no x dammit!

So I posted a picture of a pile of vegetables on instagram and made a mention of ceviche and a bunch like two of you asked me to share the recipe so I'm gonna.  I hope you enjoy my OCD chopping as much as my bff does.

Ok, here's what you'll need:

• 1 lb of peeled raw shrimp (I usually use medium, let's be honest I use what's on sale)

• 2 bell peppers, you pick the colors (I like orange + yellow)

• 2 jalapeño peppers
• 1 red onion
• 1 cucumber
• 6-8 lemons
• 2 limes
• cilantro, to taste (I used maybe 1/4 of a bunch)
• a sharp knife because you WILL be chopping your ass off

First we'll deal with the shrimp. Traditional ceviche uses the acidity in the lemon juice to cook the seafood blah blah blah, but ain't nobody got time for that! We're gonna go ahead and blanche em really quick. Aka dunk in boiling water for a few minutes then dunk in an ice bath. You just want them to be opaque.

And now, we chop our asses off. As I stated above, I'm a little OCD and I like to chop everything all uniform, but do what you want, whatev! For the peppers (especially the jalapeño) you'll want to cut all the ribs and seeds out. For the cucumber just use a spoon and scoop out the seeds and the middle goo (I don't know what that's called).

Take the shrimp out of the ice bath and cut them into bite size pieces. With the mediums I used I just cut them into thirds. Also, chop up as much cilantro as you'd like to use. I'm not too anal about the cilantro, I like it so I don't mind if there are some bigger leafy pieces.

Next, if you're lucky enough to have an assistant, have your assistant squeeze the shit out of the 8-10 citrus fruits. Hey he shouldn't have paraded his muscles around in a cutoff if he didn't want me to ask for help!! You could also buy a juicer, but then what are you gonna stare at?

The lemons/limes should yield about 2 cups of juice. Now you just combine everything! Stir it up and toss it in the fridge. It's ALWAYS better the next day so if you can make it a day in advance you're better off. I usually serve it with tortilla chips.

Enjoy! And lastly when life gives you lemons your wife makes you squeeze the shit out of like 20 something lemons and limes (I made a double recipe) reward yourself with a glass of lemonade.

Hope y'all have an awesome weekend! I'll be intoxicated by abouuut noon tomorrow. Think non-toilet-hugging thoughts for me. No seriously.